The Chamber 🏰 of Tech Secrets has been opened. Happy 4th of July week 🇺🇸 for those in the US and Happy Canada Day to our friends up north. 🇨🇦
I was sitting at lunch with some of my Enterprise Architecture teammates during a team axe throwing 🪓 outing and we began talking about making long drives across the country (which I am fond of doing) and listening to Audiobooks and such things. We chatted about which ones we liked. There was unanimous support for the Bobiverse Series narrated by the great Ray Porter. In a spontaneous moment of vulnerability, someone said “You know…I might need to see a therapist…”. Why? This person expressed that, over the years, they have lost their ability to sit and focus on things. Basic things, like reading a physical book or even watching a movie end to end without having to get up to do something else. Someone else chimed in: “yeah I am too used to doing several things at the same time. We used to love going to the movie theater before COVID but now that we are used to streaming all the time I have lost the ability to just do a single task”. A few more minutes of discussion, a few more agreements with the premise.
This conversation struck a chord with me because I feel EXACTLY the same way and I have for some time. A feeling of restlessness is one of the defining characteristics of my brain. What is driving so many of us to lose the ability to single task and focus?
Here are some observations from self-reflection:
I sit down with a book only to end up looking at something on my phone that delivers more immediate gratification, whether text threads, social media, a programming problem I am working on, a blog post to write, or whatever.
I can’t listen to an audiobook unless I am also driving or doing something else at the same time.
I often quit listening to audiobooks and move to podcasts because they are more snappy in delivery.
I can’t watch a TV show or movie without also working on my laptop, looking at things on my phone, or doing something else.
I feel antsy inside if I am not producing something, whether its writing a blog post or software or doing something on my project list that needs to be done at the house.
I am always open to and excited about new hobbies. I keep the ones I had that I loved (mountain biking, CrossFit, running, rock climbing) but I get very excited about what’s next, what new adventures can be had, what new things there are to learn. This sounds fine, but is probably associated to this larger insatiable thirst for something to captivate my attention for the next 4 minutes.
Tasks that don’t deliver rapid feedback are tougher to get energized about. Slack messages bring immediate back and forth responses and therefore a degree of gratification. Sometimes I go looking for them for that reason. Twitter and LinkedIn are in the same boat.
I try really hard to not look at my phone while talking to people but it happens all the time anyway.
I have a constant thirst for information about things but I am thinking they are actually about the satisfaction from an input, not an appreciation of the things themselves. Most of these things don’t matter at all.
Goals that require significant times for deep focus (like learning Spanish) continually allude me.
I don’t remember the last time I was actually bored which sounds positive on the surface, but probably means I just feed my brain a relentless stream of things to crunch to keep it at full utilization, whether those things are aligned to my genuine goals and interests or not.
I am pondering if I am actually driven to deliver things or just like the reward of finishing things so I can move on to the next thing. This by nature would make me a consumer; one who’s defining quality is consumption.
Where does this originate from?
I suspect at the root of this is some sort of addiction to dopamine and the multi-tasking is a side effect of the associated withdrawals. This is no way to live. Where did it come from? A few theories:
The rise of the cell phone: I didn’t have a cell phone until college, and I rarely used it then. Smart phones became normal 4-5 years into my work career. I remember times where I intentionally owned my attention by leaving mine behind or not listening to anything in the car so I had time to just sit and think. That never happens anymore. I think the dopamine hits from the cell phone are a definite contributing factor.
The nature of my work: Solving problems is very gratifying, whether with software problems or writing something just the way I want it. If I am immersed in a problem I can work on it a long time because all of the feedback from trial and error is gratifying. There are immediate rewards (dopamine) and work-related awards for my efforts. There are linkedin comments and messages to reply to in rewards for my writing. I suspect this plays a role.
Habits: I have trained my brain to be discontent doing a single thing. Sometimes I find a hint of frustration when I can’t go 4-5 tasks wide at the same time due to physical limitations such as having only two arms. My phone is always with me… habit. I have places I sit where I am used to having my laptop handy… habit. I don’t make intentional time away from these things and the other “problems” I am solving or work I have to do… absence of habit.
I suspect there are others, but these are the immediate ones that are apparent to me.
What am I doing about it?
Acknowledge that restlessness is not healthy and is not the same thing as being driven to produce things, learn, etc.
Spend some time sitting in my back yard looking at the pool without a book or phone or anything else in sight.
I am planning to make myself spend time reading paper books while embracing the antsy feeling that comes and not giving in to its power.
I am planning to watch a movie with my wife and her kids in the next few weeks without a phone nearby and with no additional entertainment. Its a movie and entertainment… why is that even necessary to layer in more stimuli? It’s not.
I intend to get back to more trail running which is a place that has always let me get lost in my own thoughts without much outside stimulus.
And you?
Do you feel this way? Have you mastered your own attention? I am curious to hear anyone’s story that would like to share, whether you find this a struggle, have conquered it, or never fallen prey to begin with.
As a community, society, and as humans I believe this ability to focus and single task is essential, but it seems that many of us are losing it rapidly—at least I am. If you don’t own your attention, what do you really own?
Thanks for reading and have a great and short holiday work week! 🙏
Consider kayaking. Can't use phone with two hands on the paddle.
I've also uninstalled Facebook on my phone because I was spending too much time on it. Now I do FB only on my desktop.
I was just having this conversation over the weekend with some buddies.
It’s time to put down the Twitter feed, read a book and/or listen to an Audiobook.
Thanks for sharing.